Happy F'Day My Friend!

Phase – 1 (2 months)

In his first year of college he was introduced to the wonders of Internet. Straight forward, easy & limitless source of knowledge. The entire world was in his palms now & he enjoyed the power at his disposal. “Chatting” was the newest concept to hit the society & he wanted to be the first amongst all to explore all about it. Still within the initial months of “surfing” the internet – he had all but mastered the art of making new friends.

It was raining & all the plans for the fun evening were canceled. Out of complete boredom he started browsing through different websites. Usually a random “Hi” or “Hey” would get a tardy but polite reply but this was a different day – NOTHING was the way it should be.

“Hey”
“What??? What do u want????????”
“Relax …why you getting so hyper??”
“I’m chilled out dude. Wats happening with u?????”
“Nm”
“Wat does that mean????????????”
“Nothing much”
“Ohhhhh ………How boring!!!!!!!!”
“Yea! What’s up?”
“Ceiling”
“How dumb”
“u dumb .. idiot … stupid … donkey … monkey”

The “chat” went on for hours & they left no stone unturned to put the other person down. In the end they added each other as “friends” before sayin the respective “Fuck Off’s”.

He was a science student with a 7 am– 6 pm schedule packed with lectures & practical’s. She was in commerce field & was only concerned about bunking two hours in the morning before continuing with the daily routine of “chilling”. For him studies were priority; she rated shopping & makeup at the top of her list. He was single; she was jumping from one relation to another with utmost ease. He was a geek; she was a doll!

Only one thing was common – both had unusual names. Gappu & Pappu!!!
(Read Meow & Dowg … Moti & Asshole … Sexy & Dude)

Days later they found each other online again – this time late at night. It was as if they had never stopped talking – started where they left & continued to insult each other beyond any control. Seconds became minutes, minutes turned into hours as they continued their weird talks. It was time for him to attend his lectures & her to think of a new reason for bunking. They said goodbye – again with “fuck off’s”.

Who kehte hai na – jo hota hai acchey ke liye hota hai – galat kehte hai!

Phase – 2 (13 months)

Nothing much changed neither in them nor between them. He stayed a good ‘ol nerd & she the prom queen; never had any conversation that was not ended with one of them getting pissed & yelling the choicest of abuses. The only think that was strikingly different was the bond they shared - strange yet important!

Egoistic people never confess that they need help or advice. Gappu nd Pappu were no exception - continued to pretend that the other was a complete waste & absolutely not capable of any good BUT at the same time they shared all the happenings with each other “online”.

Mobile phone was now the newest craze & it had complete diverse meaning for the two. For him it only a gadget which he wanted to explore & she was busy flaunting it as the newest accessory. Communication device for him & Status symbol for her. Late night chats were now replaced with phone calls at odd hours or random text messages which meant absolutely NOTHING!!

Teenagers normally start having weird thoughts at this particular stage (I rather not elaborate here) but they never matured to that level; in effect it appeared that they were growing younger with each passing day.

She was in a serious relation (read more than 2 months) & he was still chasing the same girl he fell for on the first day of college (filmy – I know). She was his love guru cum agony aunt. He listened very patiently, took notes, practiced in front of mirror, worked on new lines – she sat back & laughed at his ignorance; He forgot the basic rule of their friendship – they were NOT friends!

Final exams were coming up. They worked on their respective schedule
His: Early mornings – studies – breakfast – books - lunch – thinking bout his girl friend (oh yea he did manage to ask his dream girl out & was steady with her) - talking to Meow – Dinner – fighting with Moti – sweet nothings with his girlfriend – sleep.

Her: Beauty sleep – lunch – shopping – Gossiping and bitching bout her current/ex boyfriend (yea it was a weekly affair now) – talking to Dowg – Gym – Pretending to study – Dinner (if her diet permitted) – abusing Pappu – Party/night out with friends – finding new boy-toy.

Even though they valued the non existing friendship; things were changing. Nothing in particular was keeping them away yet the talking hours seemed to reduce with each passing day. Some or the other important work kept them occupied & the regular non sense wasn’t missed as much. One fine day it was over. Everything ended exactly the way it started - Overnight!

Who kehte hai na – jo hota hai acchey ke liye hota hai – galat kehte hai!
Phase 3 (5 years)

College was over & it was time to face the real world. The tough competition & lack of opportunities brought the best out in him. All the wrong in the past were pretty clear now; it didn’t falter him – just made him stronger. Everything that was suggested or appealed to him was tried. Knowledge gained during the IT lectures were the thing of the past. Phone calls at the Call Centre soon gave way to the desk work in the Banking field; which in turn was taken over by the passion for securing lives for the British people ie. Insurance.

Chauhan Jr. excelled in everything that he did & in doing so gained the confidence of the opposite sex. Pappu “The Geek” was now Dowg “The Stud boy” - Wild parties & wilder partners were the driving force in his life. People admired his “clean” life – no lying, no cheating and no stealing!

Bratboy faced two major problems around the age of 23; First the monotonous life & Second lack of true love. One was in his hand to control and the other was purely on his luck. After a lot of thought & consultation it was agreed by all that he was not cut out for a 9 to 5 routine. 666 is the devils number but he chose it to start his first company …6th June 2006! He was happy with his independent life. Everyone around him was happy – he made sure of it. Personal & professional life was on all time high (read gorgeous life partner & a successful business) all thanks to his fathers advice of “Keeping life simple”.

~~~
Gappu finished her college with flying colors (Purely cuz of her charm!) & pursued her education in the desired field – Fashion! JD institute of fashion, GNIIT, NIFT, teaching in playschool etc were result of her jumbling mind. Her colorful life continued & all the “exciting” things were practiced to perfection. A street smart woman who knew her limits & yet she let everyone believe that she was a dumb bimbo (quite an art I would say).

Her parents decided to get her out of the “misery” of ever changing relationship status. Marriage happened at a fairly young age of 21 but a responsible & charming husband put all her nervousness at ease. As luck would have her Mr. Perfect was a bird of the same feather - Similar interests made sure nothing much changed in her life except the permanent “In a relationship” tag on all the websites.

April 2005 marked an important period - her first boutique! Almost a year of hard word went up in smoke – literally. Her store caught fire on the day of opening. It shattered her confidence & she never walked on that path again. She was happy with her own fancy world. Everything around her was rosy – she kept it that way. Downfalls in life were dealt with her oldest rule “Shop till you drop”.

~~~
One fine Friday morning all the plans for a weekend getaway were marred by heavy rains. Out of complete boredom & hint of curiosity he went on the overly hyped website – Orkut (A networking site which was made to keep in touch with friends – existing, new or long lost). After almost 5 years “Gappu Sardar” popped in his head. The search listed few options – none reminded him of Gappu. He took a chance & messaged the one who looked reasonably close to the princess he once knew.

“Is it you madamji”
“yesss doggie its meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”


Who kehte hai na – jo hota hai acchey ke liye hota hai – galat kehte hai!

Phase 4 (Never ending)

Back to square one! Or is there anything like stage negative 5? They were worse then before – worse then the 5 year old kids fighting over some stupid toy. The vocabulary for abuses had increased many folds, new tricks learned; creative insults & practical jokes were the order of the day.

A sane married woman would think twice before doing things that Gappu cooked up in her head; Pappu wasn’t far behind – he went to lengths to put his “friend” down nd out (at times Literally). Never ending and complete nonsensical text messages were the usual stress buster. Millions of inside jokes which no one understood; Crappy one liners which only they laughed at; Dumb challenges; Dumber compliments; Shrewd insults; False promises; No misunderstandings!!! They aint friends!!!!

“I have read your blogs”
“So?”
“Not bad asshole!”
“Come to the point Moti”
“Why haven’t you written anything bout us?”
“I don’t have time for such fuck all things”
“Fuck you”
“You wish”
“Get outta my face”
“What makes you think I wanna see your face”
“Who asked to come to my happy badday party?”
“You want me to leave?”
“Do wateva you want man”
“Fine”
“Fine”

~~~
Another rainy afternoon & absolutely nothing to do!

Maybe it’s your lucky day moti, I couldn’t think of a better gift on this Friendship’s Day – here’s an attempt to let everyone know the real story behind our “friendship” (read I don’t wanna waste money on you).

I know that you wouldn’t let go of me till you beat me once & unfortunately that will never happen. So basically I am stuck with you for life - not that I want it that way but then again any other form of entertainment can prove expensive in the longer run. I honestly pity Sachin for tolerating you 24 – 7! May god give him more strength & everything that he deserves (read extra marital affair). Let me take this opportunity to thank you for all the joyous moment in my life – seeing your sulking face & watching you suffer in the agony of defeat.

Thank you!

Who kehte hai na – jo hota hai acchey ke liye hota hai – sahi kehte hai! :)

~~~~Vish
Your Bhast Friend!

Heres wishing everyone a fantastic friendship's day, hope you find a genuine unconditional friendship like Gappu & Pappu - who are happy being two brattish kids fighting over a stupid toy!

Cheers!

Jaane tu ....ya jaane na!

He went for his daily morning stroll only to realize it wasn’t a garden anymore; he was in a cage. His place to sit & admire the pigtails was taken away. Naturally wild & a free predator was reduced to a mere domesticated puppy. There were no new messages or missed calls– he checked again – found nothing new. Mirror was portraying a different image. Pure thoughts took over his normally perverted mind. Women were just friends; Men seemed to point & laugh. There was a craving for something new. Something he never experienced before. Something that changed his world. Newly born again. There it was – in his bed – looking gorgeous in her sleep. He was nervous – he was happy. Panic took over – her smile put everythin at ease. Nothing mattered anymore – he was in heaven. Finally the lightning struck – he was in LOVE!


This is my story …When did u know you were in love Miss. Sharma?