I love SRK but…

for the latest ploy he dished out.

Let’s rewind a bit,

When I turned the age which is considered sweet, it wasn’t sweet for me for sure. I had braces, i looked ridiculous and I laughed without reason. Neither did I feel any love for anyone, and nor was anyone interested. Ok, before getting too carried away….towards self loathing….The year turned to be quite sweet because I fell in love with SRK that year, I saw DDLJ and me and my friends dreamt of Raj all the time.

We repeated lines with him, we saw all his movies. I don’t think I have missed a single movie he starred in right from chamatkaar, to guddu, to chahat (ya that’s a movie) to OSO to Rab Ne…He was no GOD to me, but I was impressed with his dream, his ambition and the brand SRK became.

I love men who say, “One day am going to rule this city…” And then one day they do rule the city! I must say I love his skill, the craft and the art. A lot of people don’t agree with me on this, but there is no one in Hindi cinema who is better at romance than Mr. Shah rukh Khan.

The eyes, the intensity, the passion have time and again done it for me and a million people across the globe. International waters seem to adore him as well…or did I just exaggerate.

I was just trying to set the ground before I bash him for what he recently just did…

As you all might be aware, I mean every one in your family including your dog would be aware of the fact that SRK was stopped at the Newark airport and questioned for 2 hours. It was actually 66 minutes, but exaggerating is in our blood….

Was that a big deal?

Trust me for all the jack asses who feel it wasn’t, it SO was. Hear me out!

They stopped him alright, but what kind of professionalism was it to make him wait. One Google search and there would be a million hits for the man. One call and they would know who he is. But that didn’t happen, to me that is disrespect to our country, not cuz he is SRK, but then he is a famous person from India. A famous person from the US be it from a non-political background is treated with utmost respect in our country. We love the white-skinned…and that is just a different topic.

If I am so unwelcome in a country, I might as well not go!

If only he could be self respecting to take that stand. But instead what did he do?

He gave interviews to every news channel, called a press conference and balled out tears and sang songs of humiliation. Just a little publicity of his upcoming stint was added as trailers in between those songs…all this why! “Just cuz my name is Khan”! After that having the cheek to say that I don’t need publicity…

He’s a cheeky innocent boy. Every one needs publicity, maybe the brand SRK has finally started getting weaker and these stunts have become inevitable.

A contrast to the above, another man, a real man, the ex-president of our nation Dr. APJ Kalam went through a similar situation. He never even gave a sound byte to the media. He walked away without creating a hue-n-cry and he admitted to this behaviour of the US govt. only when probed by the media. His insult could have been regarded as something extremely serious, but that never even crossed his mind….

A tad-bit of ego was all he needed so that I would love him forever. There is not much point in seeing the movie…the trailer was good enough :-)

After all, his name is Khan!

Kameenapan

If I had to the rate the movie on it’s style, I would say we have a winner.

If I had to rate the movie on performances, I would say we have something to rave about.

If I had to like a movie based on the fact that Shahid’s puberty season is finally over, I would say “This was it!”

But then that’s not why we watch movies, or do we?

Was there a point, a purpose, a message or at least a story line. I missed it, or probably I am ignoring the fact that we have started making movies which are hybrid rip offs of probably a “Snatch” and a “Pulp Fiction”. But seriously if it was that, where was the style in the words. There was no dialogue like “I have to go powder my nose.” or “Are you taking the piss?” that would have caught one’s attention and would go on to become a lingo that the kids would use.

Moving onto the movie, Guddu and sweetie love each other but it’s not a love story. Guddu has a twin brother Charlie, they don’t love each other, but that’s not the story either. Then there are some gangsters, politicians, policemen and drugs in the middle but that didn’t appeal to me either. I don’t want to ruin the non-existent plot any further, so I would leave that to your pea-sized imagination.

The music though excellent, promises only 4 songs in the film. You make a bollywood movie and you have excellent music backing you up, why not go all the way!

Talking about the performances, the boy has matured and is a man now. Shahid has arrived and that is great news. Would Kareena chew her nails when she watches the movie? Let’s hope some good comes out of it, and Bebo realises her mistake. But then she has Pataudi junior’s shoulder. Or does she?

Priyanka  has already proved her acting abilities to the world in Fashion and she steps up in this one. A small and a powerful performance is what I can say. A simple girl on the outside and fireball on the inside, finally intelligent actresses like these have started to display the true face of young Indian women. Yes! They do have sex in college, they do use protection and they do make mistakes.

Speaking about kissing controversies, there was no hype around the Shahid-Priyanka smooch and it turned out to be the hottest one in 2009.

Vishal Bharadwaj is truly talented and that comes out in almost every scene. Everything starting from the performances, to the music, to the direction, and the cinematography is pretty decent in their line, but the combination basically misses the punch!

 

The most tastefully shot scene is in black and white and comes in the end. Do watch out for it and share your perspective with your comments.

Maybe it’s the overhype or maybe it’s the dearth of great cinema, Kaminay falls below our expectations.

Ram Bharose

Trust me…but that’s how we are living!

Don’t get me wrong here, I am a patriot but now ‘des’ is getting to me!

Rewind!

I had the most amazing week in Delhi, the only thing wrong with my vacation plan was the time frame. Swine flu is on the rise, and airports could not be a party.

I reach home, and develop some sort of an irritation in my throat. The ‘significant other’ being significantly paranoid starts thinking on the lines. Calming him doesn’t help, I got a little scared too!

We go to bed, me with a sore throat and him with a heavy heart. We toss and turn and hope for the morning to be normal. It isn’t, my throat has worsened, I have started to sneeze and paranoia has spread.

A call to the boss, saying the vacation hasn’t ended yet and a call to our mentor gets us on our feet. We scout out, to get ourselves tested. The ordeal begins, most probably I don't have it, but what if I do?

In our country it’s better to be safe than sorry. I mean really, 33% of India would get infected in any case. And that’s a sorry figure I must say!

I start calling hospitals, some bang my phone like I am speaking Latin and some shoo me away like I said a word they didn't recognize. Sorry I must say!

We find out that there is just 1 government hospital that has the kits needed with them, so we hurry before they get over. If you’ve forgotten am ill, but then am fighting… . It’s a shady place with a 2 hour line, people with masks and panic all around. To top it all, the local media are there to cover it. I am on TV today, I swear I didn’t want it this way!

After a long wait, even if I didn't have fever yet, now I do. Even if the ‘significant mine’ was absolutely healthy, he feels an itch in the throat. We worry more just to hear from the doctors that it’s nothing and that they are not going to test it after 2 days “if need be”. Why? Cuz’ they basically don’t want to waste the kits so fast!

Is it our fault that we can afford the treatment in time but the hospitals don't have the facilities to support us?

For all those who worry, I don’t think it’s that…it’s just a throat infection. But what if it was or if it is…after all we are all living “Ram bharose”.

Why are we addicted to Facebook?

Facebook… the magnum opus of Mark Zuckerberg, Dustin Mokovitz and Chris Hughes.

An idea or an idea of an idea, given birth to after the greatest birth of globalization and technology and invention.

FB came at a time when social networking was the latest phenomena and all the college girls were hooked to putting up their latest pictures and waiting for comments.

They say greatness lies in thinking differently.

Sometimes, it helps to improvise.

And so this concept, thanks to these gentlemen and their team, came up with the
X-factor, the zing, the extra edge…. the crispiness of a perfect spinach mushroom sandwich… or well, Kentucky Fried Chicken.

This is why the old Colonel still lives at each market near us. He knew how to sell his burger.

And Mark does too.

So what does Facebook have that others don’t?

1. Personalized quizzes that you only thought existed in the Cosmopolitan magazine.
2. Bumper Stickers showing what you think are cool.
3. Questions on the movies you saw when you had braces and laugh to till this day.
4. And a whole lot of people you thought you’d never see in life again.

This is where the magic lies.

And despite established players, Facebook has worked its way up.

It has.

And so have people who are using it.

They are not your chummies from any era of your life, or your lovers or your relatives but blood brothers of the mythical character of Narcissist.

There are always these set of people with the most common names like Namrata, Sandhya , Roshni ,Akshay, Aditya, the Marks and Jacobs and Johns of the West,

A prototype of what they bring to you, or to your Facebook page.

These include:

1. A guy who sat besides you in your first school

2. A girl in your college to whom you never spoke but FB says you have 12 common friends

3. Someone you met at a party and are trying to be a wee bit friendly or just someone you pass at work.

They not only are on FB page but they seem to be doing much more than you do.

And apparently, they went to France or to a theme park for all I care. And they have enjoyed themselves so much on that particular bumpy ride in a Bombay Metro or on a camel in Egypt that they refuse to go to bed without uploading them on the day they land.

And of course, Mark wants us to socialize so all that is said by these people you’re not really in touch with pops up on your screen telling you what each friend had to say about the location or the expression or the clothes or the…

I bet you, most of them don’t even know that according to a Facebook clause, pictures that are put up on FB belong to the developers who can use it for any purpose. Just some free advertising. There is also a FB group which has close to a few thousand people who are protesting through the web against this violation of privacy.

And while I am cursing the amount of work flung on my petite yet strong shoulders, somebody with one of those name went to the nearest restaurant or a coffee place and has littered all over my page.

Flashback.

Second month at my first job… And an intern from London School of Economics (who had nothing better to do that summer) asked me if I am on Facebook.

I didn’t want to look un cool, but then I was feeling un cool the entire time. You see, the whole environment of joining work when all the people around are actually shocked that you can actually work, is also the time you realize your wardrobe is not office friendly.

Well after staying in a girls’ college where wearing tank tops were looked at as competition minus the “who-does-she-think-is” factor, I had learnt my lessons while joining the god forsaken Media Institute. Even after a year of trying to build my attire as someone “professional with pigtails”, I usually chickened out of wearing sleeveless tops and even three fourth trousers.

So I decided to be safe. And I settled with plain t shirts, (mind you plain) with jeans.
We all did. First impressions last a long time. At that time, I also believed that hard work paid off.

So when this girl child wearing Jimmy Choo shoes and carrying a Gucci handbag, asked me if I was on Facebook….I felt un cool.

I snapped- No, I don’t. And I am working.

She didn’t seem to have noticed it. But that’s a different story.

So why did I succumb to this?
Because all my friends joined and told me it was cool?
Because it helped you get in touch with some ‘lost’ acquaintances?

Well, a bit of both.

And with greater amount of VISUAL SPAM comes greater PHEWS

So why am I here?

And another pop- up says ‘Pragati Siddhanti just made an all new high score in Bricks Breaking’.

Damn you, Mark.

Special Thanks to the constant addiction of Facebook and the addicts around me who spy, gossips, and well, keep in touch.

A unique travel experience

Abhishek a.k.a. Shake-a-myster's latest brain child.

Lushescapes

Through this medium, he envisages to showcase plush properties at exotic locales across the world and fill the need-gap that exists in the premium travel market in India.

If you intend to make your travel experience an unforgettable one, contact them now!

Please leave your feedback in the comments section.
Also keep spreading the word.

Best of luck bro!
It's a beautiful start... and best wishes from TTTW!

PS : We highly recommend it!

Michael Jackson: 1958 to 2009

 

(By Manavi Siddhanti)

In times when there were no grey areas between black and white... was born a child who would redefine the world of pop music. It was time for MJ to be born, seventh in a line of nine- Michael Jackson was born on Aug. 29, 1958 in a place called Gary, Indiana.

His mother, Katherine, would say that there was something special about Michael.' When he danced, it was like he was an older person.'

Katherine Jackson taught her children folk songs. Her husband, Joseph, played the guitar and taught his sons to strum. Michael was 4 years old when he and four of his brothers performing on stage… Marlon, Jermaine, Jackie, Tito and Michael they became the Jackson 5. By the time he was 8, he became the lead singer replacing the older Jermaine.

It was Michael's father, Joseph Jackson who wielded power and ruled his family with his fists and in terrible rage. Michael later in life said that his father often used a belt during rehearsals and hit his sons or pushed them into walls if they made a mistake.

Their first album, "Diana Ross Presents the Jackson 5," was released in December 1969, and it gave the No. 1 hit "I Want You Back," the 11-year-old lead singer became an instant star. More chart-topping hits followed. The timing was perfect for going solo.

At 13, Michael Jackson launched his solo career.His album 'Got To be There' came out in 1971.

Michael Jackson was on the path to becoming a music sensation. He was gaining fame but losing his childhood.He left a double life-one where he was became the new pop sensation and the other of being by his father in the dressing room.

His second solo album 'Ben' came out in 1972.In spite of going going solo, Michael continued to work with the Jackson 5.

In 1978, Michael made his film debut as the Scarecrow in "The Wiz," a black-cast adaptation of "The Wizard of Oz." The movie launched a creative and commercial partnership with "Wiz" music director Quincy Jones.

This partnership was to reshape the world of pop music in the years to come.

The first fruit of the MJ QJ collaboration was 'Off the Wall' , Jackson's debut album on the Epic label. An infectious blend of pop and funk....the album included not one not two but three chart topping hits selling over 20 million copies worldwide.

In 1980, Jackson issued his epic album, 'Thriller' which remained in the top of the billboard 200 for 80 consecutive weeks. This was truly the apex of Michael Jackson's career selling up to 109 million copies.

Michael became a musical phenomenon.

In 1983, Jackson performed live on the Motown 25 and electrified the nation with his Moonwalk... A dance step that created the illusion of levitation.

In 1987, he released the third, and final Quincy Jones-produced album, 'Bad'. Hits like 'Man in the Mirror' ,'The way you make me feel' marked this era.The Bad World Tour (1987-1989) broke a Guinness World Record when 504,000 people attended seven sold-out shows at Wembley Stadium.

But by the time Michael had turned 30,he was still searching for his lost childhood.Never wanting to grow up, he never wanted to get back to his troubled and desolate childhood. A mixed desire led to creating the Neverland Ranch in California . Named after the fairytale land of Peter Pan - it was a fantasy where lived Michael's unlived childhood...

Nicknamed the "King of Pop" by actress and friend Elizabeth Taylor....Jackson made a record breaking deal with Sony Music releasing his 4th solo album, 'Dangerous' in 1991.

Hits included 'Heal the World','Remember the Time' and 'Black or White'.

At this time, MJ's skin colour appeared to change and reports of him undergoing extensive plastic surgery started surfacing. In a 1993 interview to Oprah, he openly spoke of abuse he suffered through his childhood and for the first time admitted that he had vitiligo,a skin disorder - which turned his skin white.

1994 saw the marriage of Michael Jackson and singer-songwriter Lisa Marie Presley - the daughter of Elvis Presley. After the marriage collapsed (in 19 months),Michael was accused of child abuse by 13-year-old Jordy Chandler. During these testing time,Michael started taking painkillers, and he was soon addicted. After going into rehab, in 1994, Jackson reportedly settled the case out of court for close to 20 million dollars.

Jackson's second short-lived marriage, in contrast to the high profile first, was to nurse Debbie Rowe in 1996. He named their two children after himself – Prince Michael Jackson and Paris Michael Katherine.

1995 saw Michael released a chart-topper fifth solo album,'History'. This was a double album,the first half with new compositions and second half included his greatest hits like Scream,You are not alone, They don't care about us.

In 1997 Michael released the remix album 'Blood On The Dance Floor: History in the Mix,' containing five new songs. The album reached number one in the UK, as did the title track. But Michael's personal life was crumbling- his second wife Debbie Rowe asked for divorce and got it in 1999. Jackson now took on sole responsibility for their children's upbringing.

2001. Jackson marked 30 years in show business with a huge concert, starring Britney Spears, N'Sync, and a reunion of the Jackson Five. But the rest of his decade saw his plummeting fall.

His next album 'Invincible', which reportedly took $ 40 million to produce, flopped. Jackson was forced to sell his Neverland ranch, to pay off creditors.

In 2005, MJ went on trial once again accused of molesting another boy as well as conspiring to abduct him. Nothing was proven against him, and the four-month trial ended in Michael being acquitted of all charges.His attorneys say these allegations instilled a fear in him, that destroyed the sensitivity of a child that had never left him.

But what found him was a longing for a comeback.To reclaim his rightful place in the heart of his fans.

Since May of 2006, Jackson was working on a new studio album.Named 'This is it', the 2009 series was billed as his last major live shows. The concerts were to kick off on July 13, 2009.

On the last day of his life, he was hard at work... Making music.

Thus was the life of a pop legend who has gone too soon.

Special mention of my friends,co-workers Geetali and Tarini for their inputs.

Office Office

I wake up one n a half hour earlier than the scheduled time to reach my destination. And the first thing I do, is not to use Jane... but to put on an episode or two, to which am gonna get ready to. Earlier, I used to have my companion, my sister who would dance before she'd leave for work.

Now that am alone, it’s all television.

As I look outside the window of my car, I find the glorious building standing tall, newly shined by workers who use a swing to make all fourteen floors of its body,pretty.

Beneath its beautiful exterior, hiding the traits of a lying, manipulative, sick boyfriend.

I remember the day the first time I saw it, fresh out college and a relationship. And it turned my stomach.

Walking up the stairs, I get glances, which tell me, oh look at this young one stepping outta a chauffeur driven car. I pass the lecherous glances of “executives" who look at me trying to bend a little to see under my top or beneath my skirt. The glances they get back not kind.

Taannnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg.... You enter the building after an X ray scan of all your belongings. Right, like anyone would want to do anything to this building.

Ahhhh, the rusty metal doors of the lift which happen to have their victims marked out for the day. Well, Videocon Towers has got scores of people, rushing in and out of the building but the lifts always manage to stir them out of their reverie.

And so I enter, not fearing its metal clasps on my hard earned clothes and wait for number 4.

Ms. Kone, the electronic voice of the most annoying ever, will not leave a moment to make her presence felt. And so she echoes through the 3 and half inches of confined space saying-" Please allow the door to close.” And if that wasn't enough, she goes further-" This lift is from Kone". Okay biatch. This is your turf. Your space.

I don't have one.

Our office doesn't have a concept of doors or cubicles or even assigned terminals. Anybody can steal your lip balm, kajal, water,your favorite pen.... Or the terminal you were working on till you went to Jane, coz the temperature makes you carry the same jacket you carry in November.

Right. And with me, enter caked girls smelling of perfume and nicotine. Carrying caffeine in their hands, I figure they are the ones who woke up today at 3 am to be in office, look pretty, not let their curls out of place and deliver an audience, the morning bulletin.

A fake smile here, an acknowledgment there and when Ms. Kone has told us to allow the doors to close a third time, Mr. bald spot with the sickest dressing sense comes and stands next to me.

I try and touch the close button but too late, his two heavy thighs have made their way into the life.

Great, nobody can catch him. Not God. Not his mother. Or his girlfriend. No, he doesn't have one.

Not even Ms. Kone.
Come on girl, be pink, be a girl.
It's us versus them.

As he seems to think of the lift as his second home, he exchanges pleasantries and niceties we are all at his place. Obviously, this is it. This is what got him his post. Sucking up and sucking hard. He was good at playing with words. I should know that. One should see his artful tactics that govern work.

Man, run for some shelter.

As am quite tall, I can’t hide behind any of the foul smelling ICICI “executives",an option for some of my friends. Great. So I show some attitude by checking myself in the mirror and pick number 7 as my destination while he addresses someone else.

You see its not so much about work or the lack of it, but the desire to pass him a smile, the guy who is responsible for ruining so many of my evenings just doesn't seem to be strong. Don't you want an appraisal, I ask myself. Not like this, says the honest, hard working angel in my head who believes in Karma. You’ll get your bit.

No you won't, says the practical one...Its all about niceties and PR. You better suck it up, put your chest out, fling your hair, and all of those 32.

32 teeth.

I notice my hair looks nice. Unfortunately, in a fraction of nano second, he catches my eye.

Uh-oh! The narcissist in me has cost me this. This is why God told us to never be taken up by our appearances, they only do your harm.But I am not even good looking, says the angel.

Here we go.

“Hi -----, how are you doing?"

So what’s its gonna be? Be humble or just a mumble? Before my head gives me answer, I flash my 32 teeth smile, wishing him a good morning and a terrible life.

No, that’s not enough. He prods me further."

So what’s plans for today? I hope you have some good ideas for today's show, we really should see some good numbers."

Ya we do, or your tushy, which beats Bangladesh, will be set on fire.

Before I could reply, he steps out of the lift. Well, if you didn't want an answer, then why ask a question? I hope the juice he has in his hand, spills on his crotch and looks like he just wet himself. No.Too mild.

I hope the juice he just gulped is expired and it gives him the loosies. No, I want....

Woah...There he was, trapped in the arms of my gal pal, struggling to get his 2 rupee coat made of metal out of Ms Kone's hand. So much so, that he dropped his drink, skids on it and falls on the slippery in- betweens.

Burning bra's together in the sixties finally pays off in Kalyug with an electronic whiff of a woman trapped inside a speaker.

She had watched me worked nights, days and evenings with hundreds of others whom he never thanked once. She heard my constant bitching, not without reason, and she had heard a hundred others.

All this while, Ms. Kone has been watching. And unpredictably, she chose the harshest way to put him down.

And make my knees go weak with glee.

When bad boys need to be spanked, all the bad girls come out to clap their hands together.