The cursor on the laptop screen starts blinking every time I decide to write. I try my hopeless attempt at creativity…
How many times has this blank screen angered me?
How many times have I shut the lid of my laptop in anger…sometimes in frustration?
Sometimes, the worst kind of frustration is with oneself. There is no vent for that one…There isn’t any opening.
If more days like these continued, I would have to forget about being the author I had dreamt of becoming.
The once hot coffee cup had become cold now…What I needed was a refill. Wish there was a fill of a certain type of creative juice...I knew it, coffee wasn’t going to do me any good.
While I sipped the cold coffee, my drift was towards the window which was facing the central park. Each person had a story...some stories would be interesting.
There were a few kids who were busy picking their teams.
There were a few middle aged women who were sharing something…maybe even recipes.
There was a couple walking hand in hand. They were not talking to each other.
There were a few groups of people exercising…some of which must have been preparing for the marathon.
I needed some fresh air. Maybe that would make the dried up juice flow.
Well maybe…
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
An unnamed story
Roy never believed in cliche's.Except the one he liked for it's sheer convinience.
Live in the moment.
Little did he know, he meant it literally.
They had a met sometime ago. A relationship that lasted a beautiful moment or a lifetime.
They met at a time when Reva was stepping out of someone's life.
While many of her friends found their white knights( or so they thought), Reva met her credit card limit.Sleeping in the day,going to work like a zombie, eating a whole lotta chocolate...Predictably, she indulged in ways to escape her thoughts.
She also indulged in the whiffs of sweet pleasure of wine.
And so she went to Bed.
Bed. The newest club of the town. A chic imitation straight out of the episodes of the Sex and the City she has raped.
Roy was friends with John who was friends with Carl. She was interested in Cal...interested enough to talk to him.
And so, Carl faced her, ready to seduce her.
But her eyes kept going back to Roy.Each and every girl he had been with, had told him they loved his eyes.It was not the shade of his eyeballs that were so rare, but a sense of capturing his attention,a sense of being looked at, as if nothing else mattered.
Not in that moment.
Sean said "What would you like to drink?"
"Thanks.I already had three. Am taking a break."
He smiled and moved closer to her.She didn't flinch but stood to her ground, determined to look into his eyes.Maybe this moment would last a little longer.
After sometime, she ended the no booze break.
While she drank, he was in the arms of a beautiful brunette who seemed to be adamant enough to hold onto him for life.
She was talking to Carl.
He was silently disappointed.He made up his mind to start paying more attention to the girl in his arms.
But it was something he could see from the corner of his eye that bothered him.Cal wasn't even looking at any other woman in Bed.
He only seemed to have the eyes for her.
He interrupted the dance, excusing himself to get another drink.
Sometimes the perfect girl, no, the girl who looks perfect...who who is sweet and beautiful
doesn't seem to hold your attention.Only because you are looking for something else.
A real connection.
An innate, inconvinient, intense urge to be with someone. And that was what she promised.
So he went upto her..interrupting the tete-a-tete between Reva and Carl.He looked straight into her eyes and asked her to dance.
That was that.
Roy didn't believe taking the high road or waiting for the right moment. Not when a third was involved.Not even his friend.Carl.
On one of those days when Roy and Carl's gal pals led them into thinking some hypothetical scenarios about two friends wanting the same girl.To which Roy said:
"I would leave it to the girl.Tell her I want her in my life real bad,and my only intention is to keep her happy..."
Choose someone who doesn't make you wonder what it'd be like with someone else...'Coz the loneliest moments of our life occur when we have someone right next to us.
And with that intention he really wanted her.
Reva wasn't looking for a relationship. She'd dare not.She had just gotten out of a relationship,well a year ago.Reva had been putting on a face everyday. Yes, a face, to make it through each day...So she worked for long hours and met her friends for a longer time,but her smile didn't reach her eyes.
And he marched out of a crowd with a look in his eyes that said " Someday...you'd mean the world to me."Amused with her own imagination,she laughed out loud.
Live in the moment.
Little did he know, he meant it literally.
They had a met sometime ago. A relationship that lasted a beautiful moment or a lifetime.
They met at a time when Reva was stepping out of someone's life.
While many of her friends found their white knights( or so they thought), Reva met her credit card limit.Sleeping in the day,going to work like a zombie, eating a whole lotta chocolate...Predictably, she indulged in ways to escape her thoughts.
She also indulged in the whiffs of sweet pleasure of wine.
And so she went to Bed.
Bed. The newest club of the town. A chic imitation straight out of the episodes of the Sex and the City she has raped.
Roy was friends with John who was friends with Carl. She was interested in Cal...interested enough to talk to him.
And so, Carl faced her, ready to seduce her.
But her eyes kept going back to Roy.Each and every girl he had been with, had told him they loved his eyes.It was not the shade of his eyeballs that were so rare, but a sense of capturing his attention,a sense of being looked at, as if nothing else mattered.
Not in that moment.
Sean said "What would you like to drink?"
"Thanks.I already had three. Am taking a break."
He smiled and moved closer to her.She didn't flinch but stood to her ground, determined to look into his eyes.Maybe this moment would last a little longer.
After sometime, she ended the no booze break.
While she drank, he was in the arms of a beautiful brunette who seemed to be adamant enough to hold onto him for life.
She was talking to Carl.
He was silently disappointed.He made up his mind to start paying more attention to the girl in his arms.
But it was something he could see from the corner of his eye that bothered him.Cal wasn't even looking at any other woman in Bed.
He only seemed to have the eyes for her.
He interrupted the dance, excusing himself to get another drink.
Sometimes the perfect girl, no, the girl who looks perfect...who who is sweet and beautiful
doesn't seem to hold your attention.Only because you are looking for something else.
A real connection.
An innate, inconvinient, intense urge to be with someone. And that was what she promised.
So he went upto her..interrupting the tete-a-tete between Reva and Carl.He looked straight into her eyes and asked her to dance.
That was that.
Roy didn't believe taking the high road or waiting for the right moment. Not when a third was involved.Not even his friend.Carl.
On one of those days when Roy and Carl's gal pals led them into thinking some hypothetical scenarios about two friends wanting the same girl.To which Roy said:
"I would leave it to the girl.Tell her I want her in my life real bad,and my only intention is to keep her happy..."
Choose someone who doesn't make you wonder what it'd be like with someone else...'Coz the loneliest moments of our life occur when we have someone right next to us.
And with that intention he really wanted her.
Reva wasn't looking for a relationship. She'd dare not.She had just gotten out of a relationship,well a year ago.Reva had been putting on a face everyday. Yes, a face, to make it through each day...So she worked for long hours and met her friends for a longer time,but her smile didn't reach her eyes.
And he marched out of a crowd with a look in his eyes that said " Someday...you'd mean the world to me."Amused with her own imagination,she laughed out loud.
Another dance.He must have known Reva's weakness for good dancers. But no, Reva wasn't falling for that.Taking advantage of feel their closeness, he whispered a caress in his voice- "You're beautiful."
His voice sent a chill down her bare back and she smiled at what it did to her.
It was time to do something about Reva. It was more than a call from the libido. It was a call from his instincts.
"Come out with me."
They later went out for coffee. After speaking to her for six hours, he knew that he wanted more of her.And that he could really care for her. And he would wait for her to see that.
That was two years ago. Roy never broke down.
Ending 1
They had never spoken about sharing a future. Reva's career path was asking her to move out of town. And so she was.And she wasn't sure if he really wanted to be with her. Some people are never at peace. Some call them wanderers,with their whole lives are a quest for the impossible... to find something that probably doesn't exist.
And even though their relationship didn't last a lifetime... Reva had learnt something.
Fall in love, whenever you can.
Ending 2
He had taken her away. She was all he wanted. And she loved him. Before her, he'd never thought of the future.But Reva had changed that. She needed him and he wanted her.And so he broke down, thinking of all she had made him feel while asking her to be with him for life...
His & Hers.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Utter non-sense!
besides you my love
i shan't find another
who'll give peace to my soul
and indulge me
i have gone and seen it all
there wasn't any difference
they all had some condition
some asked for my time
some were fascinated with my face
some demanded my fidelity
none wanted my demons
besides you, no one else
wanted my demons
besides you, no one else
shall shade me in the sun
the way you paused
slightly
i shan't forget all my life
you said, looking away
"you shall weep in my memory"
i laughed a strange laugh
but you didn't
you had a secret in your heart
why didn't you tell me
besides you, none shall tell this
secret to me
besides you, none shall have
the cure to my ills
i found today
a note of yours
on which you had scribbled
a varies shah couplet
upon reading which
a teardrop fell
what was locked in the eye
was revealed today
that other than you
these tears of mine
won't be kissed by none else
that other than you
these tears of mine
will wither in the dust ..
i shan't find another
who'll give peace to my soul
and indulge me
i have gone and seen it all
there wasn't any difference
they all had some condition
some asked for my time
some were fascinated with my face
some demanded my fidelity
none wanted my demons
besides you, no one else
wanted my demons
besides you, no one else
shall shade me in the sun
the way you paused
slightly
i shan't forget all my life
you said, looking away
"you shall weep in my memory"
i laughed a strange laugh
but you didn't
you had a secret in your heart
why didn't you tell me
besides you, none shall tell this
secret to me
besides you, none shall have
the cure to my ills
i found today
a note of yours
on which you had scribbled
a varies shah couplet
upon reading which
a teardrop fell
what was locked in the eye
was revealed today
that other than you
these tears of mine
won't be kissed by none else
that other than you
these tears of mine
will wither in the dust ..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)