Happy F'Day My Friend!

Phase – 1 (2 months)

In his first year of college he was introduced to the wonders of Internet. Straight forward, easy & limitless source of knowledge. The entire world was in his palms now & he enjoyed the power at his disposal. “Chatting” was the newest concept to hit the society & he wanted to be the first amongst all to explore all about it. Still within the initial months of “surfing” the internet – he had all but mastered the art of making new friends.

It was raining & all the plans for the fun evening were canceled. Out of complete boredom he started browsing through different websites. Usually a random “Hi” or “Hey” would get a tardy but polite reply but this was a different day – NOTHING was the way it should be.

“Hey”
“What??? What do u want????????”
“Relax …why you getting so hyper??”
“I’m chilled out dude. Wats happening with u?????”
“Nm”
“Wat does that mean????????????”
“Nothing much”
“Ohhhhh ………How boring!!!!!!!!”
“Yea! What’s up?”
“Ceiling”
“How dumb”
“u dumb .. idiot … stupid … donkey … monkey”

The “chat” went on for hours & they left no stone unturned to put the other person down. In the end they added each other as “friends” before sayin the respective “Fuck Off’s”.

He was a science student with a 7 am– 6 pm schedule packed with lectures & practical’s. She was in commerce field & was only concerned about bunking two hours in the morning before continuing with the daily routine of “chilling”. For him studies were priority; she rated shopping & makeup at the top of her list. He was single; she was jumping from one relation to another with utmost ease. He was a geek; she was a doll!

Only one thing was common – both had unusual names. Gappu & Pappu!!!
(Read Meow & Dowg … Moti & Asshole … Sexy & Dude)

Days later they found each other online again – this time late at night. It was as if they had never stopped talking – started where they left & continued to insult each other beyond any control. Seconds became minutes, minutes turned into hours as they continued their weird talks. It was time for him to attend his lectures & her to think of a new reason for bunking. They said goodbye – again with “fuck off’s”.

Who kehte hai na – jo hota hai acchey ke liye hota hai – galat kehte hai!

Phase – 2 (13 months)

Nothing much changed neither in them nor between them. He stayed a good ‘ol nerd & she the prom queen; never had any conversation that was not ended with one of them getting pissed & yelling the choicest of abuses. The only think that was strikingly different was the bond they shared - strange yet important!

Egoistic people never confess that they need help or advice. Gappu nd Pappu were no exception - continued to pretend that the other was a complete waste & absolutely not capable of any good BUT at the same time they shared all the happenings with each other “online”.

Mobile phone was now the newest craze & it had complete diverse meaning for the two. For him it only a gadget which he wanted to explore & she was busy flaunting it as the newest accessory. Communication device for him & Status symbol for her. Late night chats were now replaced with phone calls at odd hours or random text messages which meant absolutely NOTHING!!

Teenagers normally start having weird thoughts at this particular stage (I rather not elaborate here) but they never matured to that level; in effect it appeared that they were growing younger with each passing day.

She was in a serious relation (read more than 2 months) & he was still chasing the same girl he fell for on the first day of college (filmy – I know). She was his love guru cum agony aunt. He listened very patiently, took notes, practiced in front of mirror, worked on new lines – she sat back & laughed at his ignorance; He forgot the basic rule of their friendship – they were NOT friends!

Final exams were coming up. They worked on their respective schedule
His: Early mornings – studies – breakfast – books - lunch – thinking bout his girl friend (oh yea he did manage to ask his dream girl out & was steady with her) - talking to Meow – Dinner – fighting with Moti – sweet nothings with his girlfriend – sleep.

Her: Beauty sleep – lunch – shopping – Gossiping and bitching bout her current/ex boyfriend (yea it was a weekly affair now) – talking to Dowg – Gym – Pretending to study – Dinner (if her diet permitted) – abusing Pappu – Party/night out with friends – finding new boy-toy.

Even though they valued the non existing friendship; things were changing. Nothing in particular was keeping them away yet the talking hours seemed to reduce with each passing day. Some or the other important work kept them occupied & the regular non sense wasn’t missed as much. One fine day it was over. Everything ended exactly the way it started - Overnight!

Who kehte hai na – jo hota hai acchey ke liye hota hai – galat kehte hai!
Phase 3 (5 years)

College was over & it was time to face the real world. The tough competition & lack of opportunities brought the best out in him. All the wrong in the past were pretty clear now; it didn’t falter him – just made him stronger. Everything that was suggested or appealed to him was tried. Knowledge gained during the IT lectures were the thing of the past. Phone calls at the Call Centre soon gave way to the desk work in the Banking field; which in turn was taken over by the passion for securing lives for the British people ie. Insurance.

Chauhan Jr. excelled in everything that he did & in doing so gained the confidence of the opposite sex. Pappu “The Geek” was now Dowg “The Stud boy” - Wild parties & wilder partners were the driving force in his life. People admired his “clean” life – no lying, no cheating and no stealing!

Bratboy faced two major problems around the age of 23; First the monotonous life & Second lack of true love. One was in his hand to control and the other was purely on his luck. After a lot of thought & consultation it was agreed by all that he was not cut out for a 9 to 5 routine. 666 is the devils number but he chose it to start his first company …6th June 2006! He was happy with his independent life. Everyone around him was happy – he made sure of it. Personal & professional life was on all time high (read gorgeous life partner & a successful business) all thanks to his fathers advice of “Keeping life simple”.

~~~
Gappu finished her college with flying colors (Purely cuz of her charm!) & pursued her education in the desired field – Fashion! JD institute of fashion, GNIIT, NIFT, teaching in playschool etc were result of her jumbling mind. Her colorful life continued & all the “exciting” things were practiced to perfection. A street smart woman who knew her limits & yet she let everyone believe that she was a dumb bimbo (quite an art I would say).

Her parents decided to get her out of the “misery” of ever changing relationship status. Marriage happened at a fairly young age of 21 but a responsible & charming husband put all her nervousness at ease. As luck would have her Mr. Perfect was a bird of the same feather - Similar interests made sure nothing much changed in her life except the permanent “In a relationship” tag on all the websites.

April 2005 marked an important period - her first boutique! Almost a year of hard word went up in smoke – literally. Her store caught fire on the day of opening. It shattered her confidence & she never walked on that path again. She was happy with her own fancy world. Everything around her was rosy – she kept it that way. Downfalls in life were dealt with her oldest rule “Shop till you drop”.

~~~
One fine Friday morning all the plans for a weekend getaway were marred by heavy rains. Out of complete boredom & hint of curiosity he went on the overly hyped website – Orkut (A networking site which was made to keep in touch with friends – existing, new or long lost). After almost 5 years “Gappu Sardar” popped in his head. The search listed few options – none reminded him of Gappu. He took a chance & messaged the one who looked reasonably close to the princess he once knew.

“Is it you madamji”
“yesss doggie its meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”


Who kehte hai na – jo hota hai acchey ke liye hota hai – galat kehte hai!

Phase 4 (Never ending)

Back to square one! Or is there anything like stage negative 5? They were worse then before – worse then the 5 year old kids fighting over some stupid toy. The vocabulary for abuses had increased many folds, new tricks learned; creative insults & practical jokes were the order of the day.

A sane married woman would think twice before doing things that Gappu cooked up in her head; Pappu wasn’t far behind – he went to lengths to put his “friend” down nd out (at times Literally). Never ending and complete nonsensical text messages were the usual stress buster. Millions of inside jokes which no one understood; Crappy one liners which only they laughed at; Dumb challenges; Dumber compliments; Shrewd insults; False promises; No misunderstandings!!! They aint friends!!!!

“I have read your blogs”
“So?”
“Not bad asshole!”
“Come to the point Moti”
“Why haven’t you written anything bout us?”
“I don’t have time for such fuck all things”
“Fuck you”
“You wish”
“Get outta my face”
“What makes you think I wanna see your face”
“Who asked to come to my happy badday party?”
“You want me to leave?”
“Do wateva you want man”
“Fine”
“Fine”

~~~
Another rainy afternoon & absolutely nothing to do!

Maybe it’s your lucky day moti, I couldn’t think of a better gift on this Friendship’s Day – here’s an attempt to let everyone know the real story behind our “friendship” (read I don’t wanna waste money on you).

I know that you wouldn’t let go of me till you beat me once & unfortunately that will never happen. So basically I am stuck with you for life - not that I want it that way but then again any other form of entertainment can prove expensive in the longer run. I honestly pity Sachin for tolerating you 24 – 7! May god give him more strength & everything that he deserves (read extra marital affair). Let me take this opportunity to thank you for all the joyous moment in my life – seeing your sulking face & watching you suffer in the agony of defeat.

Thank you!

Who kehte hai na – jo hota hai acchey ke liye hota hai – sahi kehte hai! :)

~~~~Vish
Your Bhast Friend!

Heres wishing everyone a fantastic friendship's day, hope you find a genuine unconditional friendship like Gappu & Pappu - who are happy being two brattish kids fighting over a stupid toy!

Cheers!

Very Very Interesting

Most of the people who know me well enough, know that I am a picassa addict. The fact being it's one of the easiest ways to manage, edit and upload pictures. We all know that, and I don't think I should be discussing that here....I think I had blogged about it somewhere.

I came across this extremely interesting photo editing website...whiling away time in the world of nothingness. The place where time generally halts...my office.


But before that :

Welcome dowggie dog aka Vish. He is a guest author and we welcome him to share this creative space with us.

Getting back to the wonders I was referring to :

There are many edits like the above. I tried quite a few...and obviously cannot share them all.

If you are smart enough, you'll know where to go.

If not, maybe this ain't for you.

I am still unwell. But then am happy....

Jaane tu ....ya jaane na!

He went for his daily morning stroll only to realize it wasn’t a garden anymore; he was in a cage. His place to sit & admire the pigtails was taken away. Naturally wild & a free predator was reduced to a mere domesticated puppy. There were no new messages or missed calls– he checked again – found nothing new. Mirror was portraying a different image. Pure thoughts took over his normally perverted mind. Women were just friends; Men seemed to point & laugh. There was a craving for something new. Something he never experienced before. Something that changed his world. Newly born again. There it was – in his bed – looking gorgeous in her sleep. He was nervous – he was happy. Panic took over – her smile put everythin at ease. Nothing mattered anymore – he was in heaven. Finally the lightning struck – he was in LOVE!


This is my story …When did u know you were in love Miss. Sharma?

Changing World!!!

I recently had an interesting conversation with an old friend at our college re union. Saying that she has done well for herself in the will be an understatement & hence I was startled at the mind set of this woman. She was always the class topper & no one was surprised when she got admitted in the IIM – Ahmedabad without any difficulty. It’s been 5 years since we graduated from college & I don’t have to think twice before saying that she has been the greatest success story from the entire friend circle.

It was great catching up with the girl I used to copy my notes from; reliving the past – sharing the newly acquired memories – flirting – talking about the future plans!

Ankit passed us & ruined the entire mood – at least for her – by vomiting a polite taunt “WOMEN RULE!!!” I suddenly started winning all the arguments without realizing that Anu had stopped talking!!

We didn’t speak much after that point & got involved in mingling with our long lost friends. Music faded – bar went dry – Prachi was helped to the loo. We bid adieu to everyone with a promise to organize such get together every month – What a load of crap!!

“Will you drop me home?” asked Anu; being a gentleman that I am – I cudnt refuse.

“You have no idea how hard it is for women in today's world!” she said

“Yeah …it’s pretty scary …but Bombay is million times better compared to Delhi …I don’t think women in our nation’s capital even know what freedom or safety actually means”

“What??? No dude …I’m talking bout the corporate world. It’s so easy for everyone to assume that women get an easy way out ….WOMEN RULE …I felt like slapping Ankit for using those words”

I honestly didn’t have any reply; in fact my ears refused to accept these words from a “successful” woman. Not wanting to put her off any further I kept my comments to myself. Being the nice guy that I am – I offered her a halt for ice cream …smartly concealing my craving for the sizzling brownies.

“Ain't both sexes equal in front of the management?” I cudnt resist any further
“Easier said then done” came a prompt reply
“I would have understood the biased behavior probably 5 years back …but today I think everyone IS judged on equal terms”
“What’s the ratio of male’s to females in your organization”
“3:1 in favor of guys …but that doesn’t mean I don’t wanna hire women …it simply means I haven’t come across good female candidates”
“Lets not talk about it … please!”

We finished our ice creams – enjoyed the light drizzling – laughed at Prachi for puking all over the place – dropped her home – hugged good bye – reached home with her words still lingering in my head.

I cudnt put my finger at the problem she might be having but I was sure that something was bothering her. IS the corporate world really harsh on women? Have the educated minds really come to a conclusion that men & women are equal? Are men considered better quipped at executing a certain job which requires ONLY brains? Do women let there emotions ruin things for them?

Here’s my take on this issue –

Ever since the primitive days men have been the hunters (read destructive, outgoing, untamed & forceful) and women were the home maker (read passive, introvert, careful & emotional). However, I dare say in today’s world women are shedding there image at a steady pace - Slow as compared to evolution but at a high-speed as compared to the “hunters”. Being a near perfect employer – I would say the so called “BOSS” needs to have the right balance of brains and heart in simpler words women & men have an equal part to play in any company’s success story. People from Mars & Venus have a lot to learn from one another – the faster they do, the better. Constantly increasing bank account or profit amount shouldn’t be the bottom line. Who’s to know what goes on behind the closed door of the management!

What say Miss Sharma?

Chocolate

I entered the doctor's errr.... the dentists office last evening. I gave her my full mouth x ray. Just by looking at that scary xray she said "Kisi ko yaha....meetha bahut pasand hai"

I kept quiet. My dad in turn was glad at the opportunity and immediately said...
"She has had chocolates in tons!"

I gave the most disheartening grin. I was here for my wisdom tooth and not for the love of chocolates. I had better things on my mind....

She was still looking at the X Ray...She still hadn't told me to get my ass on that dreaded chair. She said..."Well they look fine...."

Before she could complete...I said "But they are not!..."

This was the third opinion on my left upper wisdom tooth and I was sure by now...that it was everything but fine. The questions was....whether....she was also planning on taking my wisdom away...or was there another alternative.

Well there wasn't. I go for the surgery/extraction under a LA on Thursday. Do wish me luck.

Getting back to the subject...so was that chocolates...or was it the tooth story?

It is chocolates indeed.
Studies prove that women love it much more than men.
Now why is that?

"Chocolate equals love. In our culture, chocolate is thought of as a romantic gift. For women especially, it's associated with love and romance. This could be part of the reason why 99% of women love chocolate, as it makes them feel loved and special."
For the rest of the article :
http://www.ex-designz.net/articleread.asp?aid=3585

Sometimes chocolates prove to give bigger highs when had after liquor.
My point : Well I have no point.

I love chocolates. And I am bearing the benefits of it....Thursday would be my greatest sacrifice for it. I lose my wisdom....
Btw the latest chocolate in town :

We all love this one.... don't we...?

Similarly....

10 songs that make me ...

I said to a friend over a sumptous meal of pasta at one of our favourite hangouts.

"I think the relationship I had and the one I am in,is all a figment of my imagination.They are never there....Maybe I imagined it."

So here's the theme to the list of these songs....songs that I listen to when I want to go back and think,when I want to cry and those which make me cry even if I dont want to.

1.Into Dust-I heard it for the first time in one of my favourite sitcoms.Both the versions by Mazzy Star and Ashtar Command sweep me off my feet.

Still falling Breathless and on again

Inside today Beside me today

A round broken in two'til your eyes shed into dustLike two strangers turning into dust'til my hand shook

the way of fearI could possibly be fading

Or have something more to gain I could feel myself growing colder

I could feel myself under your fateUnder...your fate.

2.Paint the Silence by South

There are some songs that make you of the songs that you no longer listen to,coz you don't wanna think of the past.It reminds me of the past,my past,of associating it with something that had stopped existing.

The song that started it all,the song that it ended with....The O.C. ;)

How can you say your life is empty So late in the day Why would you stay another second

Now your sight got in the way

A combination of love and aggression Another second lived Don't paint the silence black now save me

Don't leave it a day

You got a right to stand or die so maybe

You take chances all the same.Pain comes in stages If we dont make it Nothing changes .

Now the violence sleeps inside

Abandoned feeling for just a piece of mind.

It's the reason why your teething side frustrates me.

3.Aadat by Jal

When I heard the original track,I fell in love with the song and all that it means to each of those who loves it as much I do.I loved it not because of Atif,but because it was a great track by the group.

4.Goodbye my lover by James Blunt

Coz I fell in love with the guy making his debut by writing an album on his ex-girlfriend....to see that its not just me who goes crazy when in love.

My favourite lines include:

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals .And love is blind and that I knew when,My heart was blinded by you.I've kissed your lips and held your hand.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.I know you well, I know your smell.I've been addicted to you.

I 've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.I've watched you sleeping for a while.I'd be the father of your child.I'd spend a lifetime with you.I know your fears and you know mine.We've had our doubts but now we're fine,And I love you, I swear that's true.I cannot live without you.

P.S.-He hates his ex now.

5.Beautiful by Jennifer Paige

I heard it for the first time in a movie called "Autumn in New York."It's a beautiful song for reasons unknown.

6.The Scientist by Coldplay

X & Y ,this album was one of the most popular amongst others in the very successful career of this group.

Come up to meet you, Tell you I’m sorry,

You don’t know how lovely you are I had to find you, Tell you I need you,

Tell you I set you apart Tell me your secrets, And ask me your questions, Aww let’s go back to the start Runnin’ in circles, [sounds like]



Comin’ our tails, Heads on the science apart Nobody said it was easy It’s such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be this hard Aww take me back to the start I was just guessin’,

At numbers and figures, Pullin’ the puzzles apart Questions of science, Science and progress,

Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me, Come back to haunt me, Oh when I rush to the start Runnin’ in circles, [sounds like] Chasin’ our tails, Comin’ back as we are Nobody said it was easy Aww It’s such a shame for us to part Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be so hard I’m goin’ back to the start .

Okay,I thought I write many more since I have a whole collection,but I think tis enough for now.

Which book are you guys reading today?

I just finished Chetan Bhagat's latest. It is called "The 3 mistakes of my life" and it is his third book. I never though very highly of "Five point someone", I am one of the people who enjoyed the call center one much more. Well moving on, I feel Chetan should start writing scripts for bollywood movies. His stories are extremely gripping, however the endings are usually hurried and very melodramatic. The good thing is, they are always happy! I believe in happy endings...


If I ever met him, I think we will have a good chat.
Nevertheless, I have finished all his books in a day flat.... so I hold high opinions about him.

In all the three books, the characters come alive and you actually start feeling for them.

So this one is definitely my recommendation.

Completely off the topic....

A very interesting thing...that my dad told me was about his rendezvous with an old friend at the Mumbai airport. This man owns a book store at the airport. And has introduced my dad to several authors over the years....

They became good friends...en route!

My dad has stopped travelling like before, so this time when he landed at the airport. He saw that the airport was under construction and the his favorite shop wasn't there. He was sad and decided to grab some coffee. Just next to the coffee stand, was a small new bookshop with the name changed. When he entered the store...he met his friend. They were glad and this time he introduced my dad to this "The Ghost" by Robert Harris.


I didn't wanna give a review on it, but just highly recommend it.


And then there's the book I read this weekend "The Secret"
A best seller and even has a movie on it. However, it gives all the funda's of life that we are all aware of. We do understand the difference between right and wrong. Sometimes, we apply it and sometimes we don't. I wish I could make money stating the obvious. I was never born with a golden spoon. So things would come hard to me.

By the way, the book's cover is brilliant.... "Kabhi naye packet mein beche...tumko cheez puraani"

:-)

Kudos to the cover designer!

Delhi has lovely weather today. I just took a stroll with my good friends....
Enjoy the unlucky Tuesday!

Games people play

I had a thought.

Yesterday after about 2o years of my not-so short-when-you-live-it life,I bore witness to chess.
It's really hard for someone like me to play since I dont catch on to the rules and remember how much a bishop can move in which direction.

While I gave the word 'diagonal' a whole new meaning,i saw a connection between my new found love for bejewelled,long lost chess and well,what leads to love.

It's all the same you see.If you view everything as a game you have to win,you concentrate on winning.Translating this to life and lovw,no I dont think men are good enough to be won,but it's a whole new kick when they do is taken up by you.

So it depends on what move you make.Don't just think of the immediate consequences,but think of the next two moves.Be subtle,and most importantly,if you're doing really well,hide the smirk.

It is long after that the particular guy will care for you,no matter what you are so soon.It might eventually lead to that,but you gotta play it well for him to notice you first and eventually like you.Not for what you are,but what you show.

And so you play,for kicks,for attention,for love.Most of the times,most of these guys are not worth the trouble.

Then why do people play the games they do?

I shall give you this example.I know of the two books namely "The Secret" by rhonda byrne and
"The Alchemist" by Paul Coelho are the best sellers around the world.Not saying it out loud,they are self-help books with stories revolving around shephards and what not.

I don't claim to have read them,but I have a lot about these books.

The moral of the stories are that positive thinking can take you a long way.Think of what you desire and you shall get it.The universe will conspire and help you attain what you want.

The new ways of the world have already had an effect on me.Far from this,I don't think I have more than two positive thoughts in a day.These include hunger and wanting to quit my job.

Now thats positive.

With cut throat competition and filthy people at work,verchanging company,different friends at different places,the romantic past and present,you're bound to have trust issues,various genres of insecurity and a whole amount of cynicism.

Now if you were to narrate me a story of a shephard who pursues a dream of searching of pyramids for treasure, eventually fulfills it.

I mean,come on.

So what's my point?My point is,that in a way,we all play a game...to be better at work,no to be seen as the best employee and get a raise, to make a guy fall in love with you,to spend a happy life with lots of money,clothes and someone to hold your hand when you're scared at night(anacondas really scare me).

So we all need a gyan,just not from a shephard's mouth but maybe from a twenty something girl who has a boss she hates,loves designer clothes,considers her friends her soulmates and eventually gets what she deserves.Dump the alchemist and try humor and well,love in a twisted form in `Almost Single' by Advaitha Kala.

So lets continue playing